prom

is fucking tomorrow.

how the hell did that happen??

i’m really excited…seriously i am. i love my dress and shoes (will post pictures sunday maybe) but i wish i was thinner.

the only part of me that looks any different are my collarbones. i wish my butt would disappear.

today - 500 goal

breakfast - half a box of blackberries

lunch - cigarette

dinner - fruit from work, cigarettes, venti green tea no sweeter

The Thin Quiz

Thin Quiz

Are you the fat or thin one out of your friends? Thin/average

Ever hurt yourself on purpose? Yes.

Ever been to a psychologist? I refuse to go. 

Lost weight? Yes.

Gained weight? Yes.

Do you drink? Yep

Do you smoke? Mhmm

Do you take drugs? not really

Does your weight affect your mood? Yes.

Do you weight yourself daily? No

Have you ever gone through a whole day without food (fast)? Yess

Have you ever skipped a meal? Yes.

Have you ever spit food out? Yes.

HABITS:

[] I keep my eating habits a secret
[x] I look at thinspo
[x] I collect thinspo
[x] I count calories
[x] I avoid food
[x] I hate food 
[x] I love food 
[] I purge if I think I ate too much

I AM:
[] anorexic 
[] ednos
[] bulimic
[] living off diet pills
[x] hungry
[] thirsty
[] drinking something
[] Under 100lbs
[] fasting/starving myself

PEOPLE:
[x] ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic/have an ED
[] have called me fat
[x] have said I’m skinny
[x] have said I’m ugly
[x] have said I’m pretty
[x] spread rumors about me
[x] forced me to eat

I WISH:
[x] I was thin
[x] I had a better body
[x] I didn’t have to eat
[x] I could control myself
[x] I was under 100lbs
[x] I could avoid food
[x] I could hide what I am
[x] I wasn’t fat
[x] I was pretty
[] I could stop being anorexic/bulimic/ednos

I LOVE:
[x] feeling hungry
[x] seeing a difference when fasting
[] shaking
[x] feeling airy
[x] losing weight
[] being anorexic/bulimic/ednos
[x] green tea
[] diet pills
[x] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself

APPEARANCE:
[x] I am shorter than 5’4
[x] I think I’m ugly sometimes
[] I have self made scars
[] I have a tattoo
[] I wear glasses 
[x] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger
[x] I have more than 2 piercings
[x] I have piercings in places besides my ears 
[x] I have freckles
[C] Cup size is (A) (B) (C) (D) 
[] I am pear shaped
[x] I am petite

today’s banana & skim milk day!

already had one banana, not really hungry yet. 
for lunch i think i’ll have a banana milkshake, yummy :)
for snack mid-day i’ll have some cabbage soup - i went to the grocery store this morning & got some new 0 cal spicy sauce to put in it…liven things up a bit.
i have to say, i feel fantastic! seriously i do.
i’m not hungry and i feel so much lighter. And it’s only been 3 days!
definitely recommend this!
xx 

here is what i ate todayyy

- asparagus
- half a pear
- some grapes
- tea
- chai tea
- papaya

today was a marvelous day ;) 

so far today…

i’ve had two cups of mint/green tea, some grapes, and some asparagus. 
feeling pretty good i suppose :)
i’m going up to the mountains with my boyfriend for the day/evening, i’m gonna try not to eat anything, just soak up all the pretty scenery !

xxxx